Florida 2019: 25th October - Magic Kingdom

Last May we went to Majorca, and as we were about to head through security at our home airport on the return trip I discovered I had lost the passports. Cue BA looking for our plane, and they turned out to have fallen out of my bag in the overhead bin, so we were able to go home after all.

So I was taking no chances at Magic Kingdom and had our precious Disney tickets in lanyard round my neck. We took the resort shuttle to Epcot (much cheaper than an Uber - just $1 tip each) and then got the monorail to Magic Kingdom. It was when we were heading for the ferry that I realised that the lanyard around my neck was empty.

Without a word of reproach Roderic ran back to the monorail (the train was still in the station) and explained our dilemma. The staff conducted a quick search and, blessed relief, found our tickets on the exit ramp where they'd fallen out of my lanyard.

The family now know me as the person who will lose the vitally important document, and will never trust me with anything again.

Anyway, we took the ferry to Magic Kingdom, which was indeed as magic as described, and worked our way round the park starting at Tomorrowland. We loved the Monsters Inc. Laugh Floor (although Ceri and Roderic worried they'd get chosen for audience participation) and managed to fit in quite a few rides and shows including Space Mountain, Splash Mountain, the Barnstormer (when I say "we" I mean everyone else - those three are too scary for me), the people mover, Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin (Roderic scored 272,000, I scored 7,000 - he's had a lot of practice playing computer games), Mickey's Philharmonic, and several others.

Roderic shows me how it's done

Hari meets Buzz Lightyear

Scary ride, thus I wasn't on it.

We'd tried to do this day on a budget. You're allowed to take your own food into Disney World, and we took sandwiches, crisps and cereal bars and made use of the drinking fountains when we were thirsty, but that didn't stop the children wanting Mickey burgers and it ended up still being quite an expensive day. In fact we spotted someone wearing a t-shirt proclaiming "Most expensive day of my life". It really is.

I got to try Dole Whip (it was nice, but not worth the hype) and we also went to Gaston's Tavern to try what are reputed to be the best cinnamon rolls around. We both felt Cinnabon are better.

The ride which really wasn't worth the time is the Carousel of Progress. It was only a third full, and it was overlong and somewhat dull. I think it's largely there as homage to Walt Disney, as it was his idea and he loved it, but I suspect it might not be there much longer. Still, if it rains or you need a fifteen minute sit-down in air conditioning it never has a queue.

Donald and Daisy Duck in the parade. The sky may look cloudy, but it was extremely hot - 30 degrees.

We enjoyed watching the parade which was really very impressive, but by 5pm we were exhausted. Our shuttle home wasn't until 7pm, so we took an Uber and cancelled our place on the shuttle when we got back to the resort.

Florida 2019: 22nd October - Typhoon Lagoon

Yesterday we did a quick straw poll of everyone's favourite Disney park, and it was a unanimous conclusion: Typhoon Lagoon.

You'd think with so many attractions, roller coasters, characters, shows, etc. that one of the theme parks - Epcot, Magic Kingdom, Animal Kingdom or Hollywood Studios - would have been the high point of our holiday, but in fact we all loved the day we spent at Typhoon Lagoon because it was truly relaxing, and a lot of fun.

We'd paid extra to have a Beachcomber Shack. This is a private cabana set in "Getaway Glen" to which only those with wristbands have access. It included a locker, towels and unlimited drinks for all of us, plus our own assistant, Marylou, who popped by several times during the day to check up on us and see if we needed anything.

We paid quite a lot ($200) for the privilege of the cabana, but I think it was worth it for that visit. There were six of us so the unlimited drinks alone would have come to $78, plus the cost of a locker. Also, the chances of us finding (and keeping) six sunbeds together were pretty slim, and we liked the idea of having somewhere we could retreat to and call our own. I don't think it would be worth it for a smaller party, however, or in high season when it's more expensive.

There are plenty of "rides" at Typhoon Lagoon. I'm scared of roller coasters, and generally don't like high or fast rides so I avoided the worst of them, but I loved all the ones called "falls". Mayday Falls, Keelhaul Falls, Gangplank Falls and Miss Adventure Falls - all raft rides. We all loved the lazy river (Castaway Creek) and there were times floating around in a tube in the sunshine when I felt the entire cost of our Florida holiday was worth it just for that moment of bliss. The wave pool was also fantastic.

When it came to lunchtime, full marks to wonderful Disney for their special menus. They have allergy free menus for every possible allergy, and this awesome vegan menu. I had the Impossible burger, and Roderic gave the bratwurst a try and said it was as good as a meat one.

We spent the whole day at Typhoon Lagoon, from opening (10.00) to closing (5.00) and would happily do so again. We plan to go back to Typhoon Lagoon before we leave. (Blizzard Beach is currently closed.)

Florida 2019: 23rd October - a rest day

My very sensible husband told me before we ever started going to Florida that he insisted on having a rest day between park days while on holiday. Park days are long and exhausting, he said, and so it was essential to have a day just chilling round the pool and the apartment in between.

Typhoon Lagoon wasn't really a tiring day, but nevertheless we decided that a day off was in order. We started by attending the owners breakfast at the main building on the resort. We'd be bribed into doing so when we checked in: we were promised a $75 Visa gift card if we spent just an hour at the breakfast speaking to one of their consultants about the planned upgrades to the resort.

Now, this isn't our first rodeo, and every other experience of these things has been terrible. The children remember them with horror too, as Gwen reminded me. They can go on for hours, and it's a pretty hard sell for more timeshare. But lured by the promise of $75 and free food, we decided to go for it.

It was actually not as bad as in the past. I think it helped that as Roderic and I were climbing the grand marble staircase with our VIP Owner Advisor, Johanna, she asked whether we had children. He replied, "We've left them back at the apartment because the little one isn't feeling too well so we really can only spare an hour." All true (Ceri had a bit of an upset stomach after our Typhoon Lagoon day - she's fully recovered now) but he didn't mention that the "little one" is 15 and the sister looking after her is almost 19.

The room where they do the breakfast/hard sell was also a lot quieter and emptier than I've seen it before, with maybe only a quarter of the tables filled with people being talked into timeshare. Johanna's English wasn't good and she struggled when she went off script. She asked if we had any questions, and I asked whether there were any plans to update or redecorate the apartments, since they were looking so outdated now, and she didn't understand my question and moved on to something back on her script instead.

We had the usual golf-buggy tour where she showed us where the new waterpark is being built (it'll be small but with two flumes and a lazy river) and the latest block of huge five-bedroom apartments, which is what she was trying to sell us. We said no, because we love our timeshare but we really don't need a bigger one, and that was that. One hour, and yes, we got our $75 Visa gift card.

I did learn, from the tour, that there are no plans to update the apartments because the newly built apartments are exactly the same. To my mind they look very outdated. The walls and ceilings are textured. The furniture is dark and heavy. The kitchen cupboards are brown wood. The overall look is from the late 1980s or early 1990s. As evidence I present the cutlery. Yes, it's a fish fork (who still has those?) in the Kings design which was very popular in 1988. I know this because in 1988 I was selling cutlery at Keddies in Southend.

We all discussed this, and wondered whether maybe American fashion in interior design is very different from UK fashion. Possibly because their homes are bigger they can get away with large and dark items of furniture, rather than the sleek, light, minimalist look preferred in the UK where houses tend to be necessarily small. (Having said that, I have just been looking up pictures of Westgate Lakes bedrooms rather than take a photo of our messy one and it looks as though some of them have already been updated with fresh white paint and new furniture.)

I've not really sold our timeshare very well I realise, but actually I do love it. It is big and spacious, well-designed, the beds are comfortable, and I have completely fallen in love with ceiling fans, balconies and open-plan layouts.

A bedroom like ours at Westgate Lakes.

The floor plan of our apartment. A two-bedroom apartment, plus a studio lockoff.

Florida 2019: 21st October - Animal Kingdom

Gwen loves Disney. She has spent the last few months watching You Tube videos, reading blogs, and generally getting all the insider tips on the best way to do Disney. What rides to do and which to skip, what food to eat, how to avoid the worst of the queues. So when she told us we had to be at Animal Kingdom before rope drop, we went with it, and arrived there around 7.30am, just as the sun was rising.

It meant we could pick up our tickets quickly and easily, but unfortunately didn't give us the desired result of avoiding the queues on the most popular rides due to extra magic hours - that hour before the park opens when Disney Resort guests get it to themselves. Gwen had known this, of course, but I hadn't factored it in. The queue for Avatar: Flight of Passage was already 75 minutes when we got into the park so we didn't bother.

Instead we went on Kilimanjaro safari since it had only a ten-minute queue (and cancelled our later fast passes for it) which we really enjoyed, and we saw all sorts of animals, including rather lovely lions. There were also two "walking safaris" which were well worth doing since there were, of course, no queues at all for those.

We had a fast pass booked for Kali River Rapids - my favourite Disney ride - but the ride broke down and it looked as though we might not get to do it. Happily it was fixed about an hour later, so we jumped on it, fully expecting to be soaked - and barely got wet. The queues quickly went up again to impossible lengths, so although we all wanted to go on it again we didn't want to face those wait times. We went to see It's Tough to be a Bug instead, and all enjoyed it.

We had lunch at a burger restaurant in Dinoland. (I'd enjoyed a Mickey pretzel earlier so only had Hari's chips.) The restaurant wasn't cheap ($52 for burger, chips and drink x 3) but it was very tasty, and there was a lovely condiments bar where you could add everything you could ever want to your burger including eight different sauces. They were also very slow serving us, so we got three complimentary brownies.

Pandora

We'd booked fast passes for Expedition Everest later in the afternoon, but over lunch Gwen and Harley texted to say that they were tired and wanted to go home, so we cancelled those, had a quick explore of Pandora - the one part of the park we hadn't done - and met up with Gwen and Harley to head back instead, arriving back at the resort around 2.30. Then Gwen, Harley, Ceri and I headed to the pool and the hot tub, returning to the apartment only minutes before a dramatic thunderstorm hit.

Pizza for tea, although Gwen and Harley ordered Panda Express but were a little disappointed it. It didn't live up to expectations. We were all pretty shattered even  after only half a day at the park - and all in bed by 9pm.

My tip for Animal Kingdom: Think of it as a safari park/zoo rather than a theme park. The easiest and most relaxing thing to do there is look at the animals, and there are plenty of them, everywhere. The shows are also good, but the queues for the rides tend to be rather long.

Florida 2019: 20th October - the Wonder of Walmart

As crazy as it sounds, one of the parts of our trips to Florida I most enjoy are the early-Sunday-morning visits to Walmart. We're still on UK time so often wake up around 3am, although on this trip it wasn't so bad - maybe 5.30. We've no food in the apartment, so Walmart really does have to be the first port of call during our holiday.

Harley with a huge American-style McDonald's breakfast and Romulan ale. Or something.

Due to not having a car our plan this time was to walk to the store (a mile away) and then get an Uber back. And in keeping with tradition, we have breakfast at the McDonald's there too. Roderic chose to run to the store (and back) but the rest of us walked.

I love the sheer variety of food here, and we felt that the quality had gone up and the prices had gone down since our last visit. We had no problems finding bread which didn't contain high fructose corn syrup (and it tasted much better than we remembered) and as ever there were lots of things we just can't get at home and were looking forward to trying. Breakfast cereals in particular are wonderful - my favourite Cinnamon Toast Crunch now comes in a churros version!

The view from our balcony

Gwen and I spent some time at the pool in the afternoon, then had a walk around the resort to see what other fun things were available, and the plan was to eat one of the pizzas we had bought for tea. But at 5pm, watching Downton Abbey, I was suddenly overcome with exhaustion and decided instead to go to bed. By 5.30 I was fast asleep (7 hours behind, remember, so my body clock thought it was past midnight) and according to my Fitbit I slept for almost ten hours. I needed it!

Florida 2019: 19th October 2019 - the longest day

Several weeks ago when Roderic and I were driving home on the M25 we passed (in the other direction, thankfully) two very long traffic jams. We commented to each other that if we were to encounter those when we were on our way to Heathrow to catch our flight to Florida we'd probably miss it. So on the spur of the moment I booked us three hotel rooms at the Heathrow Central Travelodge for the night of 18th October at the bargain price of £80 for all three.

So far, so great. The rooms were fine, we all arrived safely, and were set to meet in the hotel foyer at 5am to head for the airport parking. Unfortunately at 4.45am the hotel fire alarm went off. We all dutifully stomped down four flights of stairs and met up outside the hotel, Ceri still in her pyjamas.

Problem was, our schedule had us leaving the hotel at 5am, and our bags were inside. As time ticked by we started to worry, but finally the all-clear came, and we were allowed back into the hotel.

There were signs in the bathrooms telling people to close the bathroom door when they showered to avoid setting off the smoke alarms. Someone evidently didn't listen, and Ceri thinks she was behind the culprit on the stairwell heading back up. As hundreds of people stomped wearily back along the hotel corridor a chap wearing only boxer shorts leaned out of his door and shouted at us all, "Oi! Do you mind?" What, two hundred people padding quietly along a corridor at 5.30am woke you up but the fire alarm didn't?

We drove to the car park and dropped off the cars, then got the bus to Heathrow. Flight 1 was Heathrow to Dallas and took ten hours. Good films on the flight (I watched Aquaman, the new Men in Black, Yesterday and four episodes of Young Sheldon) and we loved Dallas airport. It was possibly the quietest airport I've ever been to, with lots of empty seating and very bored shop assistants.

Big gulp, cookie dough, and nachos. Not all for me. Note also a power socket that I couldn't charge my phone with as all the adaptors were in Roderic's suitcase.

We livened up the day of one of them by buying some traditional American food.  In my first ever visit to a seven-eleven I was overcome with joy at the sight of a nacho condiments bar, where you can not only have warm nachos but add to them whatever you want - salsa, guacamole, onions, jalapenos, and several other things I didn't recognise. Also, nacho cheese, on tap. It was awesome! Once I figured out how it worked.

The rest of the family got to try Popeye's chicken for the first time (they liked it) apart from Hari who went to McDonald's. While she was there I asked whether they had any vegetarian choices on the menu, for future reference (I had my nachos). No, they didn't. No veggie deluxe, no spicy veggie wrap, nothing. Nada. Hopefully that's not true of other places.

Before we left we'd crunched the numbers and decided not to hire a car on this trip but to use Ubers instead. So after after another two hour flight to Orlando we ordered two Ubers to take us (and all our luggage) to our accommodation. It was sooooo much easier than waiting in a long queue to get a car, fending off all the upgrade suggestions, and then poor Roderic trying to negotiate unfamiliar roads in an unfamiliar car in the dark after being awake for 24 hours.

We took a golf cart from reception to our accommodation. It was free, but now I'm plagued with doubt. Should I have tipped the driver? This tipping culture is a minefield. But what's 10% of zero?

In the golf cart. Looking surprisingly chipper for sleep-deprived folk. Apart from Ceri, who was very fed up by this point.

Westgate Lakes was even more beautiful and spacious than I remembered - more on that later - and we'd got a second wind by that point, so we actually unpacked before crashing into bed at around 11pm local time - 6am our body-clocks' time - 26 hours after waking up.